Writing a Eulogy: Where to Start

Writing a Eulogy: Where to Start

Being asked to write a eulogy is an honour — and often, in the middle of grief, a genuinely daunting one. Here's a simple way to start.

Begin with memories, not sentences. Don't try to write polished paragraphs straight away. Jot down moments: a phrase they always used, a habit that made everyone smile, a story people already tell about them. These fragments are the real material.

Ask other people. Family and friends often remember things you'd never think to include. A few short calls can give you material for the whole eulogy.

Structure loosely around a life, not a timeline. Rather than birth-to-death chronology, many of the most moving eulogies are built around what someone valued — their humour, their kindness, what they gave to others.

You don't have to do it alone. Some families write the eulogy entirely themselves. Others ask me to write it after our conversations, or we write it together. There's no right way — only the way that feels right for you.

If writing feels like too much on top of everything else right now, that's exactly what I'm here for. Let's talk about it.